Adjustment Period

Though I mainly focus on my mental issues and how that affects my life as a mother. Im into other things.

However, I have a new teenager in my home and I never shared that with you.

Well it happened last week and I must admit I am adjusting amazingly well. I had a couple of setbacks with drinking and drugs for a minute. But, I think I have even surpassed that hurdle actually.

She is a dream and I just love her. She is my daughter's father's oldest daughter. She is 14. She is such a lovely girl and just a dream to be around.

I can't say its easy because it is actually a TON of work that I knew I was in for. I am the matriarch of my family. If I don't do it, then basically it doesn't get done. I am finding that having lots to do is actually very very good for me. Its being bored that is bad for me and doesn't really work out well. The idle mind thing I guess.

Well, I need to get back into this blogging game, primarily because it is so therapeutic for me. So, there is more to come.

Just had to let you know I now have two daughters. I have a 14 year old and a 2 year old.

Life's Looking up, but what goes up MUST come DOWN

I know it has been forever since I have posted. I apologize profusely for that.

Let me fill you in on some things. Zoloft is still working. Downside, it has me feeling so good that at times I think that I am 'okay'. So, "okay" that I have forgotten to take it for days and feel the "old me" bubbling up through the cracks in my psyche and reaching the surface.

I have had a few setbacks. Those have included an issue with the child's father. Several in fact. But, we are back on track. I know what you are thinking. How much can you take off of that man.

Answer: I don't know. But, I know I have done things that I have been forgiven for, but have never been one to forgive. So, its time for me to start practicing what I preach. If everyone can change. Then, I need to allow someone else to show me that they are capable of change.

What will I do differently? SLOW DOWN. I am in no HURRY to do anything. I have NO INTEREST in marriage right now. I simply want to enjoy my family and my life. I need to accept that this is my life. But, accepting that will put me into a vulnerable position as to where if this is NOT my life I have to find a way to deal with that. I'm not good at dealing with things that included abandonment of any sort. PERIOD.

But, we shall see. I promise to try my best as to not neglect this "SPACE" anymore. I need this outlet and feel as if I am missing it in the weeks I go with nothing.

Look forward to more "introspection" as that is what this has become.

I would also like to take this to the next level. Maybe more pictures and more devotion to getting my cyber skills together to make this a more enjoyable experience with the audience.

I have a lot of other interests. I love Hair and all things beauty. I am a devoted mom who enjoys finding new recipes to try for her family. I also love writing. There is just so MUCH to me that I feel I want to share. Maybe I'll drop a story or a saying every now and then, I have no clue.

But, I'll stick around though.