Paying for the Past?

Do you feel like someone in your life is still making you pay for things that happened in that past. Things that may have happened before you were on the journey to "being healthy".

Well, I'm here to tell you STOP.

All you can do is OWN your past. That's IT!!!! You can't go back and change it. Most of the time, you can't even explain it because you don't know why you did the things you did.

Let me ask you this "How can you better if you are always being reminded of the things you used to do?"


The answer is "You can't"

Therefor, the best to get better is to give yourself a clean start. Its okay to break ties with the people in your life that are just a reminder of your past.

Lets be honest most of haven't been walking around knowing what's wrong with us. We just knew that something was wrong. Our behavior wasn't explainable because it came from a place of no understanding.

I recently restarted a relationship with my daughter's father. Now, the first time around we both had issues. He cheated and I  was talking to other people. I never SLEPT with anyone else, but I was carrying on conversations and what not.

However, that is in the past and if I have to move on from him cheating on me why is it that he can bring up stuff from the past.

He looked through my phone and read over texts that were sent in 2012. Now, in 2012 we were not together at all. We were barely speaking actually. He's throwing things in my face and calling me disgusting and what not.

What's funny is that it's 2013. As a matter of fact its the end of 2013. I kept trying to plead my case about how that is in the past and there is nothing shady since. How we weren't even together.

But, you know what I am realizing is that I don't OWE anyone any explanations about anything. I have made CHANGES in my life and I have stuck to them.

Promiscuity is a symptom of my mental illness. However, now that I know and recognize that, I don't have any issues with it. I don't talk to random guys just for conversation so I can feel loved or wanted.

I am working on loving and wanting myself and I have been working on this all of 2013. I'm not going to let ANYONE take my credit away by bringing up something that I can't change. If I keep having to hear about it I'm going to keep punshing myself for it.


We all deserve a chance to change. We all DESERVE a chance to be judged on our present and not on our past.

I realize this and I made a conscious decision to not continue on with the relationship. You know what I feel better already.

I feel like I have proven to myself that I DESERVE a new START. I am recognizing my issues and moving forward in my life.

I am not the person I used to be, and I WILL NOT keep paying for it.

NEITHER SHOULD YOU.

Cut off your ties to the old you. Its not healthy or beneficial.

I am a good person by my own standards and my standards are the only ones that matter.

Per the psych doc, nobody can change their past and why punish yourself for something that you can't do anything about. Its better to accept it and move on. Sometimes moving on means breaking cycles and ending relationships that may not have been healthy for you in the beginning.

Forgive yourself and move on. NOBODY should have to pay for anything that can't be changed.

NOBODY.

Don't pay for your past with your future!!