What do you do?

I have a borderline personality. I am not normal. I walk around this world feeling extremely different than everybody else.

The more I learn about this illness the more I understand myself. The more I cry because there is no cure.

I don't feel as if I can expect anyone to EVER deal with this illness. To be honest, I can't deal with myself sometimes.

All my energy goes toward trying to remain normal so I can be a good mother.

I don't have any energy left to "deal with myself". I don't expect anybody else to be able to deal with it either.

I'm trying to learn to accept things. I'm accepting the fact that I am a "messed" up individual and I'll probably be by myself because relationships take a lot out of me and they are not necessarily good for me anyway.

I cry a lot. Because there is ALWAYS something in my life to cry about.

I'm learning to accept that.